stupid yard signs...

house hunting in the fall of an election year is extreamly frustrating...you begin to think that every house is for sale...

Painting Pictures of Egypt

So I've been running over this song in my mind all week long. Back story, I've been reading Exodus...I love Exodus...maybe because I identify with the Israelites so very very much. And this song, from this old old Christian CD has been running through my head. It was one of those crappy sample CD's (one song each from 12 random artists that you've never heard of) that my mom got with the purchase of a book or something crazy like that. And I was tempted to just throw it out, garage sale it or just use it as a coaster (keep in mind, I was in collge at this time and I KNEW what I liked and disliked for crying out loud and this crappy CD was certainly on the dislike list...even though I had never listened to it...but I digress) but I didn't, I cracked it open and gave it a chance. Song one (I don't even remember what it was called) was okay... song two "Painting Pictures of Egypt"...I was moved to tears. I don't remember what was happening in my life at the time and why it affected me so deeply, but nonetheless, there I was, touched to my very soul. And this week, it came floating back to my soul...and I could remember none of the words...or the artist (Sara Groves). But thanks to Google (Google is amazing!!) and this blog (http://metros.xanga.com/amylynnlindberg?nextdate=10%2F2%2F2003+10%3A49%3A4.000&direction=p) (thank you new friend!) I found it...enjoy!

Sara Groves- Painting Pictures of Egypt:

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost frien

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

thoughts....

It's as if my soul is just a little raw this week. Not in the painful way, but raw like open, and exposed and overly suseptible. Shirley died this Sunday. And I know that was painful in the earthly way and in the human way, even though my soul is rejoicing that she is in heaven. But I don't know if that is what did it or not. Since then, I've just felt...open?...fragile?...I don't know. I mean, I wept over the Jon and Kate plus 8 Labor Day special. I like that show and all, but not enough to be that emotionally moved by it. And today, it's like my heart is sucking in all of the Christian music that I can get. Raw, dry, thirsty. I don't really know the words to describe how I'm feeling. I feel in control, I don't feel overcome by sadness or loss- I mean, not anymore than anyone else who's greiving. I don't feel as if I'm living under a gray cloud or anything. I'm actually doing much better than I would have assumed. I'm having a great week all things considered. But I still feel as if my soul is clinging to the life raft that is Jesus' grace and peace and comfort and care. I don't know where I would be without it right now. It's as if without doing anything terribly tramatic, God has just snapped his fingers to get my attention. Nothing too painful, nothing too awful...just a little something to catch my eye, address my hurt and bring me back to Him. Maybe that's all I needed, just a little nudge to get back on track...to know that no matter what, He is still in control, He still wants only the best for me, and in the end, it is all His.