the strange visitor at the birth of Christ...

two posts in one day. . .i know, sad. . .deal with it.

I just got done uploading pictures to the internet and the sheer madness of my in-laws is no longer something that I can ignore. Not after these holidays. Now, I admit, my immediate family is by no means normal, but the in-laws are a type of abnormal that are freakin amazing and more hilarious than any family should be. I should be fair- most of the family is normal. It is mainly just Nick's grandmother that is eccentric. His grandpa can be fun, but ol' Karen just takes the cake. And I promise, I'm not making fun of her. Heck, I pray every night that when I am 67 I am half as funny as she is. The family is just nuts and I'm sure that everyone claims this to be true of all inlaws. I, however, have taken to collecting proof of this madness. Let's take a trip down memory lane:

When we were teenagers, his grandma used to slip him a $5 every time that we left her house. Just in case he needed it. Not for food, or gas. For condoms. Just in case he needed them.

The first time I met her (when she was about 60-ish) she had bright blue hair. Electric blue. Like she had used the stuff from Walgreens that 12 year old girls use when they are having a slumber party with their friends. She thought it looked fun and "would match her eyeglasses"

While Nick was in college she sent him a check in the mail. The check was wrapped in a note that said something to the effect of "I hear that there are these people that can tell when there is money in a letter and so to throw them off I am inclosing this letter that will mess with their skills. Zap zap, snap, crackle, whoosh. See, now they can't tell that there is a check in here"

Okay, those were all from the past. And I knew about all of this when I married Nick, so this could be my fault after all. And she's been relatively normal since we got married. Or maybe we just haven't been around her as much. Either way, this year at Christmas, 3 things happened that topped them all. Well, really just two. I mean, she was dressed from head to toe in all turquoise, including shoes and jewelry, but that's really not THAT weird for her. (although, I guess when you can say that someone being dressed completely in turquoise wasn't that weird for her, you know that you are dealing with a creative creature.) Okay then, for the other two:

1. She had this big table set up at the holidays for the food. And then she had about 5 feet from the end of her table to her Christmas tree. And so, to fill this gap that was "bugging her" she took her tree skirt off of her tree and layed it on the floor to fill the spot that was bugging her. "because that spot needed decorated and that was the perfect size to fit that spot" Therefore, we all walk in, nibble on some food and begin whispering about why the tree is sitting in it's exposed tree stand and the skirt is inches away surrounding nothing. Maybe she had gone crazy? Oh no, Karen had a reason. There is always a reason. . . .

2. As in her shining example from this holiday season:

[When Nick was little he was allowed to set up the nativity scene by himself. His family came in the room later to see it and found the angel hanging in the manger, string tied from the rafters down around her neck. Nick thought that she should be "flying" Keep this in mind as I tell you about his grandmother's nativity.]

Nick comes in the room shaking his head. He reminds me of his infamous nativity scene and invites me to see his grandma's. Now, to fully appreciate this, you can only experience it.

Do you see it? Look closely. You will see the baby Jesus, Mary and Joseph. A stable boy with a sheep around his shoulders, the three wise men, and three angels. And what is that, that figure crouching right outside the left of the stable? Well that, my friends...

is Quasimodo. That's right, the Hunchback of Notre Dame. Apparently he was present at the birth of Christ. When questionsed about the strange figure that was placed with her nativity, these were some of her answers:

"Don't you act like there weren't any of "that" type of people present at the birth of Christ! You go to Anderson University. You should know better than that!"

"Jesus spent his life with the leppers and the crippled. You don't think that there would have been some there at his birth? I thought you were a social work student!"

And so. . .that was Christmas 2005 with the West's. Take it however you would like. Just remember, I have dibs on the whole "my inlaws are crazier than yours."

(I love you Grandma Karen!! Really, I do!!)