Christmas always brings about this emotion in me. Something about having everyone home, to Indiana, gathered in mom and dad's living room, or around the table always seems to fill and overflow my heart with a sense of "home"- this is my home-base and here, with these people, in this time, I am as satisfied as I will ever be on this side of heaven.
Recently, we baptized all three of our children: ages 6, 2.5 and 3 months. I had envisioned this being a day full of family and loved ones. They would fill the pews and gaze forward with love and blessing as we vowed as parents to nurture these children in the love of the Lord. Instead, minimal family were able to attend due to many factors. The old me would have been crushed, I would have felt their absence in my bones and counted the day as a loss. However, as I reflected later in the shower (after all, don't we all do our best reflecting while sudsy?) I realized that my created family was there for me instead.
We all have biological family that we don't get to see as much as we would like. Life and distance tend to dictate our time together and, for me at least, it never seems to be enough. But we create our own version of family where we can. For my husband and I, we are blessed that this group can still contain our parents due to geographic proximity, and also choice. We are blessed that we both have loving relationships with our parents and intend to keep them as involved as we possibly can for as long as we possibly can. Our circle of family also includes a small, select group of friends whom we trust and can be fully open and honest with. It seems that as we get older, this group gets smaller and smaller. At this point in my life, I am not only okay with that, I tend to desire that.
And last, but definitely not least, I'm discovering how important my church family is to my created family group. You see, as I looked over those pews, knowing that I should feel loss from the biological family members who were not in attendance, I knew that God had given me another amazing blessing in their place. These faces that stared back at me, that passed by me, and kissed my sweet children on their sweet cheeks were FAMILY. They were people who had watched me grow, who had heard my words, and witnessed my tears, and trudged along the paths on this side of heaven alongside me. This was my family, not by blood, but by choice. Actually, on second-thought, by blood, but not by mine- by Christ's blood instead.
I am blessed; blessed by biological family, and also by the sweet little family I have created around me in this place and this time. I am blessed by surrogate grandmothers and grandfathers, by surrogate aunts and uncles, and by sisters and brothers in Christ. The bodies that circle my dinner table, spend their Friday nights with me, and that sit alongside me in pews carry me through. Without them, I would be lost. Without them, I would be lonely. And while they will never take the place of family and friends that are far away, I count myself as truly blessed to feel the love of so many; whether very far away, or right next door.
