a day's successfulness...

** not my words... these are reposted from here:

thepolishedpickle.blogspot.com

"Your kids don't care where you go together, they just want to be with you."

They aren't teenagers, for goodness sake. Chances are slim of my two year old rebelling when I take him to a new place and complaining of "lameness." I used to thrill in simply riding my bike to a gas station and choosing between a ring-pop or chico-stick.

I don't need to enroll them in a gymnastic class or take them to an indoor water park for them to have fun. Their idea of a grand day includes collecting sticks and throwing them in a puddle.

I think a day's successfulness, for a mother, can be judged by answering a few simple questions; Was I available for my children? Did I listen? Did I tell and show them I love them?

Do my children feel that I love them?

"I would say to each mother, each father—be a good listener. Communication is so vital today in our fast-paced world. Take time to listen. I would encourage you to be available to your children. I have heard it said that no man, as death approaches, has ever declared that he wished he had spent more time at the office." -Thomas S. Monson

hardships and "safe" living...

I love being connected to things that are foreign to me. Things that may seem painful, seem hard, seem unfair and maybe even a little outside of God's plan. These foreign realities that people live, day in and day out, challenge me to examine my "safe" little life and wonder how I can push the edges. How can I stop simply existing and start learning, growing, changing and reaching with both hands for a God who created me, who created joy and pain, who created rain and sun and who loves me more than I will ever, ever be able to comprehend. I don't want to simply exist. I want to expand and fill in all the cracks and all the uneven edges in this crazy, broken world that we live in. It's a lofty goal... I'm off to start achieving it.

Chased...

It's been a long time since I've written, but I'm not going to apologize. Life gets in the way and the inspiration (and the time to write) comes and goes... and it's come again, so here we go.

Parts of my heart have been hidden, scarred, covered, cold, hardened and dark for too long now. I'm starting to feel the thawing, small cracks of light are beginning to seep through. And in this transition, I'm discovering God's love for me all over again.

From my devo. book "Extraordinary Women" - a chapter titled "Chased" :

"You might struggle to believe that even with so many people and so many problems in the world, God still has time to pursue you, but He does. Let yourself be caught. His love is like no other. Receiving is a choice. You can begin by saying, Yes, Lord, I believe.

Maintaining intimacy with God is also a choice. In today's world, so much tears at a woman's heart and competes for her affections. You can unknowingly, unintentionally, and so subtly give your heart to other things. You've got to want Him with everything you have! But the Bible promises, "When you come looking for me, you'll find me. yes, when you get serious about finding me and want it more than anything else, I'll make sure you won't be disappointed" Jeremiah 29:13 MSG"

"To pursue intimacy with Christ, you will have to fight for it. Evil hates God's beauty in you. In his book "Turn your life around," my husband, Tim, refers to this as the path of "disordered affections," which occur when we rely on things other than God to fill the hold in our hearts. Our affections are disordered when everything in life seems crazy, nothing is in sync, priorities are chaotic, and life is overwhelming. Husband. Kids. Work. Family. In-laws. Vacations. Finances. Church. Laundry. Dinner. The pressures of life begin to take away your affection for God. As a result you spend less time with Him. The less time you have with Him, the less beautiful you feel. And the next thing you know, you no longer feel loved.

Do you see what happens? Idolatry takes hold as we turn to other things rather than our Father to calm and soothe our pain- the emptiness or brokenness in our hearts. Tim defines idolatry as "the fruitless pursuit of anything besides God to fill what only He can fill." Shopping. Food. Bad relationships. Breaking free of idolatry requires discipline...Daily I have to make a decision to choose to be captured and recaptured by God's love."

I know that's long, but I was so moved by all of this. Not only has my heart been cold and hardened, I can't say that I've done any of the above to any degree of success. "You've got to want Him with everything you have!"- Nope. Have I been using Him, and Him alone, to fill the emptiness and brokenness in my heart?- Nope again. Have I been making the decision DAILY to choose to be captured by God's love- Not a chance. I've filled that void, my heart, my life, my time with all kinds of other things- not necessarily bad things (husband, kid, the SW kids, work, etc) but things that aren't God's perfect love.

None of this is extremely deep. But it's exactly what I needed to hear right now.