I don't have time to write right now cuz I'm in the Keys....
PS- Note to self: Self, don't read this when you get back home because it will only depress you because you will be as cold, angry and seasonaily depressed as everyone else is at home right now....
Tuesday, March 21, 2006
Monday, March 06, 2006
the Miss America pageant...and blow...
While watching the Miss America pageant... (yea, yea, I know, but I made him...I put up with a whole night of Dog the Bounty Hunter so he owed it to me...) Anyway....
The guy from Desperate Housewives that was hosting was introducing the judges...woman, woman, woman and then Brian McKnight.
Nick: "Why do they always get Brian McKnight to do crap like this? Doesn't he have any self respect? Brian! Where are your balls?"
and as Nick's tirade continues, Desperate Housewives man continues "and our next judge, Jerry Rice!"
Nick: (head falls to his chest, the disappointed sigh escapes) "Jerry...come on man, you are letting me down. First dancing, and now Miss America? Please, you've gotta have no money left. Did you waste it all on blow or something?" "Jerry Rice is having the worst retirement ever! I can't imagine a worse retirement than Dancing with the Stars and judging the Miss America pageant."
And more random comments from the Miss America viewing:
Cheris: "Your earrings are too damn big!!" Nick: "That type of language is exactly why you will never be Miss America!"
We picked states to root for. I picked Pennsylvania. Nick picked the U.S. Virgin Islands. Later, Miss Pennsylvania gets picked. Cheris: "Yes! See, I told you. Pennsylvania always makes the top 10." Nick: "Well yea, big state, two major cities. Of course they always make it in. Big state, more people to pick from." I think that he was kidding...but I'm still not sure.
Nick: You can always tell when they have Vaseline on their teeth because their top lip sucks up into their mouth. (Cheris just stares at him as if she can't believe that he is really this gay.) He then makes the lip sucking in face...kinda like a deranged chipmunk...I don't know, you'll just have to ask for a demonstration.
And in closing, while watching the pageant, I realize that it's probably old and so I get online to see who won. We realize that not only are we not watching it live, but it happened like 2 weeks ago. That's when Nick comes to his great epiphany. "Wait, 2 weeks ago, Jerry was still dancing. I don't understand, you can't do both! What, are you moonlighting as a judge?"
Moral of the story...don't watch the Miss America Pageant with your husband...especially if your husband is just a little bit gay...
The guy from Desperate Housewives that was hosting was introducing the judges...woman, woman, woman and then Brian McKnight.
Nick: "Why do they always get Brian McKnight to do crap like this? Doesn't he have any self respect? Brian! Where are your balls?"
and as Nick's tirade continues, Desperate Housewives man continues "and our next judge, Jerry Rice!"
Nick: (head falls to his chest, the disappointed sigh escapes) "Jerry...come on man, you are letting me down. First dancing, and now Miss America? Please, you've gotta have no money left. Did you waste it all on blow or something?" "Jerry Rice is having the worst retirement ever! I can't imagine a worse retirement than Dancing with the Stars and judging the Miss America pageant."
And more random comments from the Miss America viewing:
Cheris: "Your earrings are too damn big!!" Nick: "That type of language is exactly why you will never be Miss America!"
We picked states to root for. I picked Pennsylvania. Nick picked the U.S. Virgin Islands. Later, Miss Pennsylvania gets picked. Cheris: "Yes! See, I told you. Pennsylvania always makes the top 10." Nick: "Well yea, big state, two major cities. Of course they always make it in. Big state, more people to pick from." I think that he was kidding...but I'm still not sure.
Nick: You can always tell when they have Vaseline on their teeth because their top lip sucks up into their mouth. (Cheris just stares at him as if she can't believe that he is really this gay.) He then makes the lip sucking in face...kinda like a deranged chipmunk...I don't know, you'll just have to ask for a demonstration.
And in closing, while watching the pageant, I realize that it's probably old and so I get online to see who won. We realize that not only are we not watching it live, but it happened like 2 weeks ago. That's when Nick comes to his great epiphany. "Wait, 2 weeks ago, Jerry was still dancing. I don't understand, you can't do both! What, are you moonlighting as a judge?"
Moral of the story...don't watch the Miss America Pageant with your husband...especially if your husband is just a little bit gay...
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
I don't wanna grow up...
Soon I will need a job and a house...any ideas....
I don't like being grown up....
I don't like being grown up....
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